


Under the Circumstances

by Corinna



Category: Glee
Genre: Anniversary, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corinna/pseuds/Corinna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: “There is so much he wants to tell Kurt, and so much he knows he can’t.” Written for the Klaineversary (yes, I’m making that a word).</p><p>Spoilers through 4x16 ("Feud") and sort of the promo for 4x17</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Circumstances

Blaine’s been thinking about it all day, but he’s put it aside, like a special treat, or maybe a really tough homework assignment. He’s managed to stay focused at school, even though every time he starts a new page of notes, every time he checks his phone, the reminder is there, a little needle under the skin. He hasn’t told anyone at school, and he doesn’t think anyone will know, and that makes it easier to pretend like nothing’s different. So he waits.

It’s after he’s home from Cheerios practice, after he’s showered and changed and had a snack, that he finally lets himself focus and figure out a plan. He’s gotten Kurt’s voicemail two of the last three times he called, so it’ll probably happen again, he thinks. Better to come up with a good message in advance. He stands in the middle of the kitchen, like he’s rehearsing a monologue, and tries. _Hey, Kurt._

_Just wanted to call to say hi. You know…_

_How’s the weather? Uh…_

_I don’t know if you noticed, but…_

Finally, he settles on a message.  _Hi, Kurt. I was thinking about you, so I thought I’d call. Hope you’re having a good day. Talk to you soon._  Simple, straightforward, undemanding: it’s good. He runs through it a few times, until he’s sure he can do it without stammering. He gets a bottle of water, takes a drink and a deep breath, and then he calls.

“Hey, Blaine,” Kurt picks up the phone on the second ring, and Blaine’s so startled that he starts coughing. “Blaine?”

“Hi. Sorry. Hi. Hold on.” He puts down the phone and takes a short drink from his water bottle. His throat is burning and he’s a little freaked out. So much for the plan. What’s he going to say now? “Hey. Sorry. You caught me at a weird moment there. How are you?”

“I’m OK. Are you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I just breathed wrong or something. I’m fine.”

“Well, that’s good. How’s school?”

Kurt almost never asks about McKinley. At least he’s picked a good week for it. “Really weird. Like, more so than usual.”

“Oh, this sounds good.” There’s a sound of movement on the other end, something creaking and rustling. “I’m settled in; tell me everything.”

There is so much he wants to tell Kurt, and so much he knows he can’t. He’ll settle, like he has been, for what he can get. “Well, the first thing is, I’m a Cheerio again.”

“What? I thought you quit!”

“Almost immediately,” Blaine confirms. “But some stuff happened, and, well, I rejoined this week. Coach Sylvester’s been really pulling out all the stops to recruit me.”

Kurt harrumphs on the other end of the line. “This is her whole thing about how she needs a gay guy who won’t get distracted by the vadge, right?”

“She tried that on you, too?”

“She should admit to herself that the true recruitment base for male Cheerios has always been voyeuristic guys with a modicum of upper-body strength and a reasonable comfort with their own heterosexuality, and just roll with it. I know some of the kinkier girls would enjoy it. Santana!” Kurt calls away from the phone. “Tell me I’m wrong about this.”

“About this?” Blaine hears Santana, closer than he’d expected. “No. About that hat? Don’t get me started.”

“Yes, thank you, Santana, I  _won’t_. Honestly,” Kurt says, speaking into the phone again, “what I put up with.”

Blaine can see Kurt’s expression in his mind’s eye so clearly, and he has to laugh. “Hasn’t she found a place yet?”

Kurt makes a noise that defies description. “Actually, she can probably help you with your Coach Sylvester problem. If you’re not just going to quit.”

“I’m not,” Blaine says. “I kind of have to do this. It’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

“I can’t. It’s OK, really, it’s all going to be fine, but it’s not — . Not yet.” He misses that the most, sometimes. Curling up with Kurt on the couch after school and talking about everything and nothing. He felt like he could tell Kurt anything, right up until there were things they couldn’t talk about. Maybe if he’d gotten past that, the last year could have been a lot different.

“OK.” For once, Kurt doesn’t pry, or sound hurt to be excluded. “Well, if you change your mind.”

“Thanks,” Blaine says, and means it.

They are silent for a long moment. The sound of Kurt breathing on the other end of the line is so solid and sweet, he could just sit like this for a while, listening. But he knows Kurt will start to get antsy soon. “So how’s NYADA?”

“It’s a madhouse. With all the classes that got canceled for the snowstorm? It’s been make-up session after make-up session. My ballet class is turning into one of those all-night marathons where you have to keep dancing to win the Studebaker.” Once Kurt starts talking, it’s pretty easy for him to keep going. Blaine leans back against the kitchen island and lets it wash over him.

Kurt tells him about his classes, and about the scene he’s learning for Acting Methods I, and the awful woman in the Financial Aid office who messed up his paperwork. He mentions his new choir once, and then changes the subject, and he doesn’t mention Adam at all. It’s not like Blaine doesn’t know more than he wants to about Adam anyhow ( _taller_ ,  _blond_ , and  _older_ ): he and Kurt are still Facebook friends, he sees the pictures people tag Kurt in. But he appreciates the sensitivity.

“…and then he accused me of not appreciating Comden and Green. Can you imagine?”

“That’s ridiculous,” Blaine agrees. “What happened then?”

“We’ll see next week.” Kurt suddenly sounds tired. “Class won’t meet again till Wednesday.”

“You’ll blow him away,” Blaine says.

“Thanks.”

Outside, Blaine sees a familiar red Acura pulling into the driveway. “Hey, that’s my mom coming home. She’s got dinner, so… I should really go.”

“OK,” Kurt says.

Blaine wonders if he should say something else, or if there’s anything he even could say.

“Blaine?” Kurt’s voice is softer, and quiet. “I remember what today is.”

“Oh,” Blaine manages, his heart in his throat. “Well, yeah. I wanted to call. You know.” And it’s not like he has anything to lose, right? “Happy anniversary.”

“You too.” It’s almost a whisper.

It’s the best anniversary gift he could hope for, under the circumstances.

“OK,” he says, trying to sound cool. “OK. I guess I’ll talk to you soon. Good night, Kurt.”

“Good night.”

The front door opens as he hangs up the phone. He can hear his mom’s shoes on the entryway floor, the clatter of her keys on the entry table. He’s not quite ready to tell her about what just happened — she’ll try to help or something. He just wants to hold onto this warm feeling. The sound of Kurt’s voice in his ear. The connection that’s still there, despite everything. He thinks about next year, and he can almost see them, together in Brooklyn the way they should have been from the start: wrapped up in each other, and not ever letting go.


End file.
